-
SEX IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
0
Sexual expectations are not always conscious, nor are they regularly communicated to another person. As a result, partners are often at cross-purposes when their pleasure-seeking goals are on the line. That was the situation of Gina and Paul, both in their mid-thirties, who had been married for four years. Their mutual attraction bad been based on their shared work—both were dedicated medical researchers—but now they seemed to be going in opposite directions.
“Ever since Paul began lo experience his ED. something has changed,” Gina began. “I don’t mean just the physical side; I mean the emotional one as well. He’s pulled away from me. Anytime I start to talk about how I feel about our situation he walks out of the room. He’s taken up a hobby—coin collecting—which he works on alone, in the middle of the night.”
His face reddening, Paul replied, “That’s because the last thing I want to do is discuss my erections with her. I feel strongly that it’s my problem. I realize she’s affected by it but I don’t see how having a sensitivity session about it is going to make it any better.”
“It’s not going to make it worse,” she pointed out.
“I disagree. The truth is—I never felt that we had such a great sex life to begin with. Now I have the opportunity to change it—”
“And you’d rather explore that brave new world with someone else,” she finished the sentence for him.
As he nodded his head in assent, Gina excused herself and walked out of my office.
“I’m sorry about this,” Paul told me. “It’s not that I don’t have feelings for Gina. It’s just that we were each other’s first real lover, and then we got married and spent so much time working that we—I— never had the time or inclination to explore what I really wanted from sex. I didn’t even want to, until my ED occurred. Now I have another opportunity—and I want to take it.”
Not surprisingly, Gina and Paul split up a short time later. The basis for their marriage—shared work—was not enough to keep them together. Sadly, their breakdown in communication prevented them from trying to find another bond to keep them together. Today, Paul’s ED is under control and he is excited at the prospect of exploring his own sexuality more fully.
The emotional issues in their situation included:
• dissatisfaction of one partner with their sex lives
• a change in feelings toward a partner
• unwillingness to discuss the problem
Think about your own feelings concerning:
• how satisfied you are with your sex life
• how content you are with your present partner or partners
• how pleased your partner is with your sexual relationship
• the frequency of your sexual encounters
• what the core of your relationship is, and whether it is based on sex, friendship, or family
• your comfort level in discussing your sexual attitudes
• the reaction of your partner
• the likes and dislikes in the sexual history with your partner
• things you would like your partner to do
• things you wish your partner wouldn’t do
• any changes you would like to make
Remember that a satisfying sex life is a major component of a healthy life. When the physical aspects of a relationship are on track, you and your partner are in sync. Anticipating each other’s needs and wants, you create an experience that is greater than the two of you. Boosting vitality, vigor, and optimism, a mutually gratifying sex life adds to overall mental and physical contentment.
*63\183\8*
Related Posts:
Tags: Men’s Health
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.